It has been over 13 years since you left us which is hard to believe. That feels like a very long time. My life feels so completely different and I imagine would be unrecognizable to you. There are things you have missed that I wish you could have seen and been a part of. There are other things I'm glad you're not around for. No matter what has happened, the love I have for you remains unchanged and I miss you always. You will always be Mom.
I am now a husband and father and you will never have the chance to know either of them. He will know of you, of course. He will know of the love you gave me, which in turn I give to him. But you will always be an abstraction to him, a ghost. Just like your father was to me. I remember many stories about him and the feelings you had for him, but I only knew of him through you. I hate that part. But I also know that's how humans continue to live on, even when our bodies die. I will eventually be a ghost for others too. I just hope I can live long enough to make a positive impact on Kaiser, that he remembers me as a good person and a good father. I love him like no other. I understand now why you loved me so much.
Reese is gone. I'm glad you weren't around for that. Uncle Rick is gone. Ainty Lynn is gone (and on the same day as the day that you left us, eight years later). Our small family continues to hemorrhage members, but we are gaining some too. New life, new bonds, even if its mostly virtual. It's something. I guess we continue to live even as the world seems to be dying around us. Everything will be ok. Everything is ok.
I love you.
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